Jun
29
2009

Lucy
at 4:17 am
Current Mood:
Sad
I’ve been away from uni for less than 2 days now, though I’m going to count my uni year as having ended when I said my last goodbye to my best friend for… I don’t know how long it’ll be. That was just over 2 days ago. About 11 ish, I think. And I’m missing the place already. No. I’m missing the people that come with the place. MSN just doesn’t cut it. It’s weird, ’cause I never felt like this at all over Xmas or Easter. I missed people, sure. But to the extent that I was actually dreading the holiday? No.
Thing is… it feels pathetic to be missing people after such a short time away. I know somebody who lives in the middle of nowhere, 2 hours away from any of their friends, making my measly 20 minute drive from my nearest, and one of my closest friends seem like it’s not worth bothering about. I complain that 13 or 14 weeks away from my friends is going to be hell, when I know somebody who’s been in such a situation for YEARS, and I still complain to them about it.
And it’s not just this. I complain that my treatment is taking ages. I’m impatient. I know somebody who spent over a year with a bitchy psych messing them around. From GP to psych took me a few months. My psych referred me straight away. So I have no right to complain there.
And even in mundane things… I often complain to be hungry, having eaten at some point within the past few hours. Not sure most of Africa would be too happy to hear about that.
I read a while back, and if I can find the article I’ll link to it, that feelings are relative to the person experiencing them. For example, one person’s grief over a dead family member can be equivalent to another person’s grief over a lost handbag. I accidentally worded that the wrong way round, but the implication in that particular wording is perhaps more shocking than the one I had planned. And I believe that. I read the article. It made sense.
But that doesn’t stop me thinking it’s pathetic.
I have more money to live off a week than some people I personally know get a month, or even a year in some cases. And yet I complain about not having enough money. Yeah, maybe if I want to live an extravagant life, then maybe I’m right. But these people survive. They even have comfortable lives! I have no right to complain about it! And I have no right to feel as poor as those with less money than me, no right to feel as hungry as those with less food than me, and no right to feel as sad about mundane things as some people do about other more legitimately upsetting things.
That last one I hate the most, because my mind likes making me feel upset even for no apparent reason.